btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
