I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
