You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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