Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
