Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
