god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize