Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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