Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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