Where is the hickey?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
