Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
