this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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