highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
