I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
