so let's talk penis.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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