The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
