my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
