Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
