I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
