Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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