dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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