very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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