Plan B is the new Plan A
too bad you live with your parents still
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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