the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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