If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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