my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
