how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
In America we eat man semen.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
