so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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