Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I looked at my own cervix.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
