you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
