My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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