Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
