i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize