yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
