wat bout pragnant strippers??
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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