It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
