So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
