Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
