You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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