4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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