Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
