I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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