Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
