We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
