I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
