I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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