Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
