Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she looked like the before picture.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
