Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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