My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
