Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
