Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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