CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
