At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
