Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
