when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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