I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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