I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize