just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
pray to the hookup gods
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
