There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
