is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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